Getting personal: About womanhood & connection // Happy pride!

As I am writing this our country: The Netherlands is celebrating Pride. And the famous canal pride will be held this afternoon in the canals of Amsterdam. Pride is not about showing off, or provoking: it’s about connection. Inclusion. Being just all of you.

I’ve bounced back from my most challenging few years. The past year was about finding my way back to kindness, speaking a little softer to myself, not pressuring me to feel better while feeling shitty, do more while low on energy. Just be me, whatever felt best at that time. That also meant not spending too much hours in the bar with a cold beer, not doing any late nighters with my friends. I kept to myself a lot. I needed to spend my energy inward. But I also noticed while nurturing myself. Which I have to admit was amazing, I did some serious healing… but it got me to disconnect with my friends. I didn't know how to include them in my process and I was a no-show to my friends.

I have been single for a couple of years now. And met someone earlier this year, which is wonderful (OMG yes! this one), but also very time consuming. I had to be pretty rigid with my time. Once energy is spent I need to charge myself and I love doing that by just being by myself. Read, draw, walks on the beach. So my friendships suffered. And my friends already have a pretty different life from mine. So I find myself a little disconnected. Super happy with myself and my life but at the same time disconnected from my dearest peeps who moved, got married, made babies. So now I find myself having enough energy to get that beer and have an all nighter. No one’s left! Aaaah! I know it’s that age. 30 something.

So I am 34. And I have a boyfriend. My friends all have families, and frankly all of them are struggling with their new roles as a mom. Completely overwhelmed. They find it hard to reach out. Talk honestly about what’s going on. They all feel like zombies! It’s like once you’ve become a mum everything should go according the book and any form of challenge should NOT be talked about. Leading to superficial conversations when I have a chance to see them. Which I don’t do. Superficial. So there’s the disconnect again. But this time I am on the other side. It’s also a good reminder of the fact that motherhood is definitely not for me. This and many other reasons, trust me, that’s all good. But that's another story.

Where do I find those woman no wanting to be mothers? There’s no club for that!

I have to excuse myself for not wanting to have a family. Now I have a boyfriend peeps started asking me again; what about a family of your own? Being single kinda gets you out that loop of questions :P Well, I’ve never wanted any kids. My childhood was not the most easypeasy warm welcoming family kinda thing. A little trauma here and there. And quite frankly, I have learnt what NOT to do, but it doesn’t mean i know what’s the right thing to do. My mind is pretty set about this. I have a child within me that still takes up enough room to love and nurture. And thankfully I stumbled upon a man that doesn't want to become a daddy.



Being a woman does not mean: becoming a mom. Not for me. But this seems to be a lonely path to take. Choosing to have a full life with in depth connections and a blooming career is still not very much accepted. It seems to divide me from my friends. Even though I know my mommy friends feel much lonelier at this point: It take a village people! It does. There’s so much shame. So much isolation! So ask and share and making that connection is always the answer. So many people want to support you. Include your cheerleaders! Like those peeps on the boats celebrating life on those canals today. Don't miss out on the support that does show up. Don't be too proud (because you're ashamed). Just be proud!

So, this morning, I am just thinking about those times. Years back when we all had the strongest bond going on. Partying around the canals of Amsterdam. Having the time of my life connecting to my friends, making new ones. Life was pretty easy in my twenties, social wise. Now we all have social media and never actually see each other anymore. My friends all busy catching up on sleep, taking care of their babies. And I get back to work on my Saturday. There’s always enough to do when you run your own business! So for all of you attending the parade: have a wonderful pride!

Curious about your thoughts on this topic. Please leave them in the comment section below

With love,
Maaike

Orange // Spring in Holland // Celebrating Kingsday // How to survive as a tourist? // Here are some tips:

In about five days' time the entire country will turn orange while Dutch people celebrate Kingsday. On the 27th of April Holland celebrates the birthday of our King. All show windows, supermarked candy and fashion boutiques show off their orange collection this week. Slowly everything will turn into orange. If you are visiting Holland during this period for the first time make sure you know what to do, how to behave and what to wear.

Fleamarkeds and under age street musicians
Kingsday is the day to get rid of old junk. It is the only day of the year where you can get rid of old toys and worn down clothes and actually make money. Street musicians are everywhere sometimes 5 year old kids are playing in the street earn a little something and small games and activities are created to bring in some change to spend on candy the next day. During Kingsday most of the shops are closed. It is the biggest and most celebrated holiday of the country so businesses are shut down so everyone can celebrate this quirky day. Even the entire Royal family is out in the town to celebrate, have a drink and take part in typical Dutch games.

Beer & Orange
If you decide to celebrate Kingsday make sure you don't walk the streets on a empty stomach. Beer is served everywhere but you can see groups of people in the streets and parks drink from their own stash too, they will offer you drinks and before you know it you are struggling to stay on your feet even though it's only 2 in the afternoon.
If you like to be ridiculed on the street you should not wear orange. You will be the joke of town. Make sure you add something orange to your wardrobe. Groups of drunk Dutchies can be very enjoying when they decide you are not wearing enough of this national color. Spray paint your hair, add some orange lipstick or get yourself a cheap orange t-shirt that can be bought in every single clothing shop in the days leading to this party. If it is not over the top orange, it is not good enough!

Where to go?
Kingsday is celebrated in every city and every small town. If you are up to big parties do celebrate this day in Amsterdam. One huge mass of people will turn the city into one giant party. If you like a party but want a little escape go celebrate Kingsday in the South, Brabant. My all time favorite place in Breda. The city center turns into a dance party around noon and if you like to escape the people you can walk to the city park, do some vintage (junk) shopping and grab a drink just outside of the city center where terraces are a little more quiet.
Not good with masses of people? Go visit a small town and see how locals entertain themselves with typical Dutch games and activities on the street. Here are some very typical and interesting activities you might bump into.

Koekhappen - Cookie biting game
Your hands will be tied on your back and without any help you will have to eat and finish this traditional dutch baked cookie that is hanging on a rope just above your head. If you win, finish the cookie first, well, it is all about the honor...

Spijkerpoepen - Nail pooping game
As a kid this was my favorite game. A string holding a nail will be tied around your waist. The nail will be hanging from your back in between your legs. You will have to try and get the nail into the narrow neck of a bottle. It sounds easy but it's hard work!

Zaklopen - Walking the bag
This game is very popular among kids. You will have to crawl into an empty potato bag and run track. Walking in a bag is not easy and can be very painful and I won't recommend it. I sure don't want to break a leg during Kingsday but if you want to take the challenge, I did warn you!

Sources of inspiration: Amsterdam in a day // A place for foodies, artists and shopaholics // 5 must-see places for creatives

Since I was born in Holland, Amsterdam is one of my all time favorite places to visit when I need a serious boost of inspiration. I come from the southern part of the country where, during my childhood, my surrounding lacked of creative energy. So moving to an area with museums, pubs, night shops and 24/7 laundromat places was for me the ultimate taste of freedom. Everything seemed possible.

You can easily mistake Amsterdam for 'that city where you can get some legal pot' and yes if you walk outside of Amsterdam central station the smell of this tourist trap will be the first thing you'll experience. But for me, born and raised in Holland, this place is not about the legal soft drugs. Actually, I am not a big fan of drugs. My mind is crazy weird all by itself, I don't need an extra layer or a blurred perspective for now. For me Amsterdam is a cultural melting pot. With new people coming and going, filling the city with a fresh cool air in which anything can happen.

The past few years a lot has happened in this city. Big companies shut down and small creative studio's popped up, little galleries, coffee shops, in which you can actually drink Italian-proof coffee and not smoke pot, small boutiques with Scandinavian labels. After a few years these places are maturing as well. There is room and appreciation for genuine products and customers are happy to see refreshing, one of a kind pieces of creative expression. Every little place has it's own special atmosphere and energy.



Of course Amsterdam is like a playground full of places to see. The canal houses itself are breathtaking. The city has some amazing Museums and sights. But in this post I would like to shine a little extra light on those little gems you might miss while visiting the city for the first time. So here is a little top 5. It could have easily been a top 20 though.

1 // Bakers and Roasters
You can sit down, eat and not leave this place for an entire day. Every plate looks crazy good! This bakery, in which you can also have breakfast, brunch or lunch is definitely worth the try. The p The menu is inspired by their owners from New Sealand, pancakes, poached eggs and cocktails are all on there as well as New Sealand wine, and sitting down for a meal reminds me of a brunch in new York, you can even get a Mimosa with your meal. They serve wholesome sandwiches, colorful salads & delicious hot pies fresh from the oven. Oh my god! Well, no need to write more about this place than this: Go there with an empty stomach and eat your heart out. :) // Eerste Jacob van Campenstraat 54, 1072 BH Amsterdam

2 // Huis Marseille
This amazing architectural building dates back to 1665 and is located at the Keizersgracht. It houses Amsterdams first Photography museum. The interior is simply breathtaking and if you want to see a place of Dutch prosperity this is a good mix of architecture and photography. The museum itself has a diverse selection of old and new work. Young photographers and old iconic pieces go hand in hand with a focus on Dutch, Japanese and South African influences. The art that is shown here is usually more edgy and intense than a traditional museum of photography would show. It is not only about esthetics here. You will leave each room filled with wonder. // Keizersgracht 401, 1016 EK Amsterdam

3 // Cottoncake
The name gives it away already. This place is both a shop and a place to sit down, have a coffee and have a piece of cake. But it also has little art exhibits. The current exhibition “Flowers, Leafs, Memories” by Amsterdam based artist Anita Bogers is on show only until March. I love this little two story boutique. I am not a big fan of shopping and I adore places that have only a few carefully selected items that are basic with a twist. The place itself is light and inviting and the brands in their collection differ every season. And what I really enjoy most about this place is that it is not a typical Dutch energy here. You can feel the owners have been influenced by other places. There is a great respect for natural, pure, basic colors and materials. Quality. // Eerste van der Helststraat 76 HS, 1072 NZ Amsterdam



4 // Grimm Gallery
I am a big fan of Atelier van Lieshout with his industrial inspired art projects so when I crossed this little gallery walking around Amsterdam this exhibit took me by surprise. Famous names have been working together with this gallery the Atelier van Lieshout exhibit 'power hammer' is open to the public until March. I love how the work always is a search for another perspective in the every day. It can be revolving objects but it seems there is always a search with utopia at the end of the road. In this bright gallery you can see some scaled power tool models with a soft pastel color and surprisingly huggable texture. By enlarging the every day raw industrial tools the shape and form seem to be an esthetic sculpture. Go see for yourself! // Frans Halsstraat 26, 1072 BR Amsterdam

5 // My Little Patisserie
My Little Patisserie is just a few steps away from the famous Albert Kuijp market and is right across Cottoncake. In the upcoming Pijp neighborhood there are a lot of places to discover but this little Paris bakery is a serious must-do. The bakery specializes in delicious desserts, smooth creamy fillings with delicate flavors and a crunchy crust Since I started dating this Italian guy I became a serious coffee and food snob and I must say My Little Patisserie serves the best espresso I have had in Amsterdam so far. So if you want to hide out for the rain while shopping at Albert Kuijp market or just want to warm up and have a little break, pop in and enjoy some amazing Rose filled dessert or try a chocolate éclair. // Eerste van der Helststraat 63 HS, 1073 AD Amsterdam

Jeff Wall // A day at the museum // Explore cultural differences all over the world

How often do you visit a gallery or museum? I was just in time to visit the Jeff Wall exhibition at Stedelijk Museum Amsterdam. Holland has some great art galleries and museums and I love to see all these different artists and skills come to life. I often visit the Pulchri Studio close to my home in The Hague where they have new art up on the walls every few weeks & I love Foto Museum Antwerp - FoMu where I have seen so many talented photographers show (off) their work. I try to visit museums during my traveling. It is lovely to see cultural differences, there is a different way of expression in each part of the world. What museum would you recommend in your country/city?

> Amsterdam Holland doodle pattern | on fabric & wallpaper

If I am a typical Dutch designer is for you to decide. Maybe the clean shapes and white background is typically Dutch. I am not sure. I let myself get inspired by the world and even though I am located in The Hague, Holland, most of my artwork is about my trips and travels around the world. After getting many requests ('please, make more Dutch designs') I decided it was about time to dedicate some time to creating something typically Dutch. Hopefully you will enjoy these Bicycle and Amsterdam designs.

> So very gay true that is!

by Maaike Boot